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Записи с темой: детство (список заголовков)
11:23 

Some other people have recently posted their doll stories on MH tag. I decided that I’d do this, too. After all, I like telling stories.

I’m a girl. I’ve always loved fashion dolls. Here where I was born and still reside this damn hellhole oh how I hate being here there was actually and officially no Barbie or anything Barbie-shaped\sized until about 1989. I think I wasn’t much interested in baby dolls, big children-type dolls even before I got my first fashion one. I always thought there should be some smaller and more delicate doll depicting grown woman, just like ballerina figurine, but with real hair, clothes, moving limbs. As for other type of dolls, I hated them, though I had many. I didn’t know what to do with them, they seemed really ugly and too big.

I got my first fashion doll in about 1989. This was Petra Airfix clone, as I fount out later. I still have her. I loved her but wanted more. Soon they started buying me more. Unlike other girls of my age, I didn’t like “real” Barbie with that Superstar face. I hated her always smiling, having lots of friends, being popular because I myself felt really miserable and was often bullied. I was the “strange” one. I liked other fashion dolls, analogues and clones, with calmer faces, less smiling: Betty Tong, Sandy, most of all Wendy. And also German Petra and Steffi Love. I was really obsessed with everything about beautiful girls, dresses, dolls. I didn’t want stuffed animals (and any animals), I seldom drew anything but girls. People found it strange and bad. Father wanted me to be a tomboy, he wanted me to like sports, couldn’t deal with the fact that I didn’t, also that I was always afraid of dogs (and I still am), wasn’t fond of animals in general, didn’t want to go skiing with him. He hated everything dolls for no particular reason.

No I don’t think that I was a pure girly girl, princess in pink dress. I was just too dreamy and with my own fantasies. I liked bit of adventure as well (if only someone played with me more often), I loved a wooden sword we made ourselves with one boy and a vintage collection of tiny tin cars. I loved the stories not of damsels, but of strong and adventurous girls. As a teen, I played Tomb Raider a lot for this reason.

But very soon, I think, already at the age of 10, others started shaming me too much for my passion for dolls and girls. And I had to give up my dolls, tired of this stuff. Classmates popped in “suddenly”, like “they were passing by and thought they’d visit me”, to check if I had a dollhouse under my table, to get new reasons for bullying if I do. But I didn’t. Though, as I remember, I’ve always had some dolls at hand, I occasionally made clothes or simply dug deep into my closet to see how they were doing there, when no one, esp. father, was at home.

I remember in 1999-2000 Barbie changed dramatically, got a body that looked more real and a calmer face. I fell in love with that bellybutton, with other molds than Superstar. I looked at those early Fashion Avenue\Fashion Fever dolls at stores and realized I anted them, There was not a chance I could ask anyone to buy me them and I didn’t have enough money myself (you know, in hellholes like this they’re overpriced, getting an MH doll for 30$ is normal, even a “good deal”). Even I had, I don’t know I could dare because I forbade me to love dolls.

When I was 19, the movie Corpse Bride came out and I fell in love with that movie. I drew tons of fanart. And started wanting that Jun Planning doll. And I finally bought her. But it was hard for me to accept my passion for dolls back again. I hated myself for wanting that doll, for loving her, for wanting her. Even though I had her. Thought it was not rigth, something was wrong with me. I thought my mother found me silly, childish and didn’t approve, that everyone would blame and I couldn’t overcome that thought. It was hard for me. I didn’t keep that Emily - btw, she was already broken when she arrived from Japan, and replacement was not easy because in this hellhole it’s always like this: postal rates are high, post is slow and unreliable. Somehow I did. I didn’t keep that Emily, sold her even cheaper than she cost me. But then I discovered other doll brands. As well as a community of fellow doll collectors. At that time (2006) - young and not big, only gathering, aspiring. I got acquainted with other doll brands and started buying various fashion dolls, firstly adult collectibles like Tonner because they all were better than that Barbie and her analogues of my childhood. They were articulated and with more realistic body sculpts. Then I moved to modern Barbie, mostly playline ones. I had a good collection of playline fairies (Fairytopia, Mariposa etc.) and I had many Tonners, I especially loved 2009 dark lines and still my ultimate favorite is Lucine, but most of them are sold away now.

In 2010 I felt already fed up with doll stuff, like I overcame those teen problems, accepted my passion and could move further. I just got tired of them. I wanted to buy and make more stuff for myself, like dresses and shoes or a new tattoo instead of a new doll. But I was curious about Monster High ever since they came out and I watched the webisodes. In 2011 I started collecting them, when I had a chance to see and hold one IRL. She was so fabulous that I fell in love. I fell in love with whole idea. It was something great and wonderful, that really wasn’t before and was needed. I love how they promote accepting yours and others’ freaky flaws and differences. I love they body sculpts. I love the story behind them. They’re really fun.

And they gave me really a lot. I became really fond of the whole franchise and I ended up creating a fansite which helped me in my life a lot - to learn new things I could use to make money later (about web development, promotion, etc).

Doubt if someone read this to the end… I just can’t use few words or paragraphs, I always write a lot. That’s what I am. Also this may be too personal, still I post this. Consider a no-shame Sunday entry with a story instead of a picture.

@темы: воспоминания, детство, куклы

17:30 

Я не знаю, кто ты, анон, приславший мне пенсю Высоцкого и что сподвигло тебя, но вышло крайне занятно. Песня действительно сильная, действительно даёт задуматься и попадает в тему. Относительно моей ранней жизни до 20 лет - так тем более.



Кстати, мой отец любил Высоцкого. У нас было полное собрание сочинений на пластинках. Выпив, он самозабвенно пел его песни под гитару. Только у меня было сложные и не хорошие отношения с отцом, всё, что связано с ним, вызывало негатив. А песни долго ассоциировались именно с отцом. Даже манера пения как-то очень живо с ним увязалась, он ведь пытался подражать.

Высоцким я прониклась уже позже. Каждый год в день его рождения переслушиваю Алису в Стране Чудес, это традиция.

Хотя да, анонов я отключить забыла. В данном случае к лучшему, но всё равно я не люблю гостей, это факт.

@темы: воспоминания, детство

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